


breathe

by blacksatinpointeshoes



Category: The Bastards Crew
Genre: (it's complicated), (they're not really siblings), Crew as Family, Gen, Ikarus comes home !!!, Nightmares, Pip? Sleeping? Never, Platonic Cuddling, Sibling Bonding, we are a FOUND FAMILY in this house and no one can stop me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-19 18:37:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19138396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blacksatinpointeshoes/pseuds/blacksatinpointeshoes
Summary: Ikarus comes home. Pip explains a few things.





	breathe

Waiting for Ikarus to go to sleep is almost as agonising as waiting for him to come home, but both do come to pass in time. Pip knows that they have to be patient, and so they are. The waking moments can be spent on Ikarus’ shoulders, doing maths and plotting courses and directing the crew. Pip has gotten used to the coughing and the oil, the puttering and sickness and wheezing in those great big mechanical breaths, and slides between the grooves, unnoticed. The City breathes like Ikarus does, slick and spitting and sad. 

When Ikarus finally lies down, Pip stands at the foot of his bed and says, ‘I’ll take first watch, if you like.’ 

Ikarus snorts. ‘There’s  _ still  _ nothing out there that can kill us, you know,’ he replies, pulling back the sheets. ‘I died three or four times last week. I’ll be fine.’

‘That’s not what I meant,’ Pip says, their mechanical eye glowing sun-yellow. Ikarus looks up from where he’s been fluffing flattened pillows, and pauses. 

‘Pip, come on,’ he says, shifting. ‘Don’t be— I mean— it’s not that big a deal. Besides, Fara says you’ve been refusing to sleep, so—’

‘Sure,’ Pip agrees, suddenly looking much smaller. ‘Sure, whatever Cap wants.’

Ikarus bares his teeth in what Pip has come to regard as playful ribbing. ‘Hey, we do have to listen to her. You know me. Poster boy.’ 

Rolling their eyes, Pip scampers onto the corner of bed Ikarus has been preparing and sticks out their tongue. ‘You’ve never been the poster boy of anything except eternal juvenile delinquency.’

‘They make posters?’ Ikarus asks, grinning, as he nudges Pip across the mattress. Pip rolls until they flop on the other edge, a discontented whine rising from the lump of their body. ‘C’mon, you little brat. Make room.’ 

_ ‘ _ Mm  _ mm hmm- _ mm hmm,’ is all Ikarus can make out of Pip’s reply. 

‘What?’ 

Pip turns their cheek so Ikarus can see them properly and repeats, ‘I  _ am  _ making room.’ 

‘Hm? Didn’t quite catch that,’ Ikarus replies, just to be a prick, and Pip sighs. 

‘Either go fuck your mom or get in,’ they huff with incredible fondness, pulling the sheets around their tiny shoulders.

Ikarus swats their foot as he sits down, pushing his shoes beneath the nightstand and swinging his legs upward. ‘I will personally wash out your mouth with soap,’ he warns, and Pip giggles for the first time that night.  _ Score.  _ Pip usually giggles a lot more when Ikarus is around.

‘I’m almost fifteen, you know,’ Pip says, feeling around for a pillow. ‘Cut me some slack every once in a while, eh?’ 

‘Still a baby, Pe—  _ Pip,’  _ Ikarus says, inhaling sharply and squeezing his eyes shut, mind racing.  _ Come on, come on, you know some kids don’t grow up, it’s just a matter of circumstance; don’t be an asshole about it— _

‘Ikarus?’

Breathe. Open eyes. Smile. It looks pained. Pip is regarding him with a gaze so sharp and wary it could shatter glass — or is it concern? Attentive and worried? Ikarus doesn’t know. Ikarus can’t tell the difference. 

‘We should get some sleep,’ he says, working his jaw. 

‘Sure,’ Pip replies, their voice muffled. They’re already curled up in a ball and for some reason Ikarus can feel discontent radiating off of them in tired, disappointed waves. Ikarus has no idea what exactly has gone wrong. 

‘Pip?’ he asks, turning over to where the kid has become a pillow-sized mass at the foot of the bed. ‘Hey, Pip?’

There’s no answer. 

* * *

light char flicker haze scintillance felicity divinity fly soar sweep swell swish sigh breath breathe heave heart stomach lungs wires wings weight heavy slick slippery slimy oil liquid lungs lungs lungs breathe breathe  _ breathe _

* * *

There are too many names for Ikarus to call out, so he just bursts upright, the cry already catching in his throat. _Pip,_ he remembers, attempting to quiet himself, but that mechanical eye is already open, glowing yellow, like the sun in its empty void.

‘...Pip?’ Ikarus croaks, when he remembers how to breathe. 

Pip gives him a glass of water and a wry smile. ‘I said I’d take first watch.’ 

The kid at the edge of Ikarus’ bed doesn’t ask for details, doesn’t look at him with pity as he coughs up oil, just curls up into a ball again. ‘Wait,’ says Ikarus, blinking. ‘Have you slept at all tonight?’

Pip raises their head. ‘What the fuck do you think ‘keeping watch’ means?’

‘But Fara said _ —’ _

‘Cap almost certainly said I was  _ inefficient,’  _ Pip snaps, which wasn’t true, but the fervour in their voice gives Ikarus some pause. ‘And brain her if she thinks I’m going to drop everything now that you’re home. I’m not looking for some fucking baby blanket, Ikarus. I’m taking care of my crew.’

‘You’re _ —  _ what?’ says Ikarus, feeling a lot like he’s in the wrong position here. Pip isn’t supposed to be the one with the weight of the sky on their shoulders. ‘Pip, don’t get me wrong, but I  _ can  _ handle myself _ — _ ’ He contradicts his own words nicely by spewing oil onto the sheets mid-sentence, and Pip’s whole face softens.

‘In the City,’ they explain, scooching closer to Ikarus, ‘it doesn’t matter if you need protecting. If someone offers it to you, and you say no  _ — _ ’ They shrug and look down. The act of trying to hide their hurt reminds Ikarus of -  _ no, no, stop, some kids don’t get to grow up and you don’t get to dwell on it.  _ ‘It means you’re as good as the enemy.’

_ Oh,  _ thinks Ikarus, as Pip reaches their hand under his bed and pulls out a roll of crackers. ‘Wait, when did you _ — _ ’

‘You’re away a lot,’ Pip mumbles defensively, tearing open the package. ‘And I designed all the locks. Anyway, here.’ 

Ikarus takes it. It seems like the right thing to do. ‘I can take watch next,’ he offers, and Pip’s smile is its own star.

‘Sure,’ they say quietly, ducking their head to their chest. Like before, there is feeling pouring off their tiny body in waves. Unlike before, it’s no negativity, and all love, love, love. 


End file.
